Today

This thanksgiving was like most others. For the last five years Gary and I have hosted our families here at our house and so we are able to hang out in our pjs all morning cooking and cleaning and watching the Macys parade on tv. There is an air of specialness in the air, a frozen in time feeling. This year I vowed to video the kids more because I have been thinking a lot lately that time is slipping by and my babies are quickly turning in to not babies anymore so I videoed a lot today. When family got here we feasted and that was wonderful and at the end of the feast my children hung around with family and then things were quiet and when I went to look for them I found Nora upstairs sprawled out on her bedroom floor flipping through the pages of Curious George and Sadie tucked away in her room listening to Harry Potter 4 and doing a puzzle and Jonah quietly sitting in the playroom with his trucks. I love that my children can entertain themselves without tv and without video games and that they know when they need alone time and are not afraid to go take it at their own liberty. I have always been a person that required a lot of alone time and am always feeling guilty for asking for my required allotment, they know just what they need.
My favorite part of today was at the end of the day when the fire was really going and it was dark and it was just the 6 of us left, in our pjs again in the living room and we all started singing together. We sang many Christmas songs and folk songs which got Gary thinking about Alice's Restaurant and so we sang that song for a little bit but we all wanted the real thing so we came up here where I am now, at the computer and listened to two different versions of Alice's Restaurant, one live and one recorded and then we got to talking about the draft and war and littering and four part harmony and folk music and Vietnam. Then we listened to The City of New Orleans which we found out actually wasnt written by Arlo Guthrie and also comes with a great story that you can find at youtube if you are interested and Gary and I talked about growing up in the 70s which somehow got us back to the kids favorite thing to listen to on the computer which is the soundtrack to Grease.
Unschooling............
by the time I am through with Jonah I will get it but on the way I am stumbling through math worries and future concerns and the frameworks of education.
My favorite unschooled moments this week:
1. When Nora asked Gary and I on the way home from Maine whether trucks and trees have middle names.
2. When Jonah sang the alphabet song in entirety at the Thanksgiving table just because he felt like it.
3. When Sadie told me an hour long story about Charlie, an elderly man she visits regularly with Grampa John during their Wed meals on wheels trips.
4. When Nora told Gary to stop talking to her because he was disturbing the story in her head.
5. When Nora asked (in all seriousness) for the ability to fly as number one on her Christmas list.
6. Every wonderful chapter of Harry Potter 7 that Sadie and I read together.
7. Singing together

There are so many things I am grateful for today. Right now I am grateful for the piece of pie I am going to eat right now while watching the Incredibles on tv with the kids.

22 years

I have not seen my middle school friends in these pictures in 22 years. I recently came in to contact with Judy who is taking most of these pictures via Facebook. She surprised me on Sat and brought out my best friend from middle school, Beth and her sister Shari. Words cannot describe how wonderful it was to see them all. I'm tearing up just thinking about it now. I figured out the other day that as a child I moved 13 times! So for me having long term friends was not a big possibility but my friendships during those years in Maine are still sweet and wonderful in my heart.

what you know about me?

Sadie on her way

This morning at 8:50 am I watched as my eight year old boarded her first plane. It has been a long time in the making, this trip to Colorado and New Mexico, one in which I would never have dreamed even a few months ago. My Aunts visited about 8 weeks ago and were talking about the big family get together coming up in November in which my grandfather will be honored for his medical service in Farmington NM where my mom grew up. Sadie heard about it and wanted to go. Sadie talked about nothing but New Mexico for weeks until finally we bought her a ticket to go with my mom and Grampa Johnny. The last four weeks has been such an interesting process to watch and be part of. During some of the last month Sadie behaved just horribly and sulked around the house and/or lashed out at pretty much any member of her family. She actually came to such blows with my mother last week that she stormed out of the house and ran around it 5 times before returning. We talked and talked about what she was going through, she wanted to go, she was scared to fly, she has never been away from Gary and I for more than one night for a sleepover at a friend's house. She spent one solid week in her room where she listened to Harry Potter 3 and 4 and then finally begged me to go out and get 5.............. one week! She locked her door, played with her turtle, drew many pictures which all featured air travel of some sort and put puzzles together, quiet as Myrtle in there thinking muddling it over, working it out.
She crept in to our bed for the last two weeks pretty much nightly, climbing in and placing herself so close to me I thought for sure she was returning to her origins. She asked continuously about airplanes, we looked up different videos of airplanes taking off on YouTube so she could have some sort of perspective in to what it may look like for her.
Last night at Folk Chorale rehearsal she looked to me like someone who had gone through a very deep, very searching journey and emerged out of it more strong and vibrant than ever. She sang loudly and beautifully, more beautifully than she has all session. She played happily and talked about her trip openly and truthfully. She talked the whole way home and the morning and was so grateful and pleased with the purchases that I had made for her at Barnes and Nobles: a new Whimpy kid series book (her favorite) a collection of Calvin and Hobbes and a new set of crayons and a travel journal. She cuddled up with Gary and I right after she brushed her teeth and we all slept together.
This morning she was nervous, but not as nervous as me and not as devastated as my dear husband who spent the entire morning hiding in a tissue box, emerging only to take calls from Sadie. I drove her and her grandparents in to the airport and we hung around until it was time to go through security. I have to admit I was nervous she would not get on. I was kind of planning on having her with me on the way home but she gave me a good solid huge and ran off, not looking back once, and I know because I stood there and waited for a good 10 minutes while she took off her shoes and sent her bag through the check. I waited while the elevator came up and dinged once and then twice and I waved people away. I was waiting to watch her and take her in, so wise in so many ways, so happy.
I feel blessed on so many levels. I feel blessed Sadie does not have to worry about making school work up and can just take off like this in the middle of a school session without assignments and worksheets. She doesn't have a math book with her, she isn't expected to write in her travel journal for my scrutiny and she knows this. She is going to learn so much this week and she is going to experience life and family. She helped Grampa Johnny with his oxygen tank and talked to him about feeling better about having to wear this in public. It was hard for John and Sadie knew this and helped. Sadie is 8 and she has that level of compassion and regard for her grandfather. I feel so blessed that through Sadie's struggles this last month Gary and I knew our daughter well enough to watch in wonder at this whole process, not to judge, not to play interference, not to pathologize, just to watch, love and hold her space sacred. It we had not listened to our instincts and not been as tight as we all are, this month could have taken a much different course and here we are, Sadie has landed in Colorado and is just thrilled to pieces. She talked to Gary and I a bunch of times already and my joy is immeasurable at the person she is becoming.

our non traditional family

Today I had the blessing of having to explain homeschooling to a pretty mainstream bunch of people namely attorneys and mediators at a court house. This is always an interesting thing to me especially when I have encounters like todays in which the curious questioners were surprisingly rather open to my unconventional ideas and since I no longer have the fear of losing custody or suffering consequences where my teenager is involved it left me rather open and honest. The curious minded in this scenario asked the basics like "Do you have to teach all your children?" and "Do you have to do your 'teaching' during the school hours?" and "What about testing?" Pretty standard stuff for the seasoned homeschool mom. I took it with stride and found that the more I talked the more they were able to hear me which was nice and welcoming and not scary.
Recently two friends of mine have lost custody of their young children due primarily to their homeschooling choices which makes me feel incredibly sad and so grateful to be at this stage in the game with Molly.
On the ride home of course I did the standard questioning of myself that occurs after such a conversation. Am I doing the right thing? What are my children learning? What are they missing?
I got home to my three little ones in the yard playing with the neighborhood kids who had a half day. When I got out of the car one of the neighborhood kids said "Look I am just like Sadie today, free to do what I want!" with such glee and happiness on his face, I felt so happy for him for today.
Sadie had spent the morning delivering Meals on Wheels with Grampa John and I had the great opportunity to sit with her in her room for a long time talking about the many people she had met and the many challenges that they were facing including one woman who has pulmonary fibrosis like Grampa John and wears oxygen too. What a blessing that she had this time with him. How beautiful and truly meaningful is her life.
I built a huge elaborate dominoes building with Nora and Jonah and then watched in joy as they knocked it down and then played in their fort in their room and all three of them read a bunch of books. We read this really cool Cartoon History of the Universe one I got from the library on the beginning of our solar system, the big bang and our evolution. The kids loved thinking about this and wondering about it and then we read some of the Little Shakespeare books that I found at the library. Sadie did some math from her little workbook and we practiced Spanish from this new conversational Spanish book I just got and while I did the dishes Sadie and Nora practiced the many things they could say related to food and dinner including Jonah es gordito which means Jonah is chubby")
Sadie is locked up in her room almost done with Harry Potter 5 and I can't wait to start together on number 6 just to have the experience of finishing the series with her!
Molly went to her teen mentoring program and worked on some school work. She hung out with Grampa John for a while and he fixed her up with an awesome Halloween costume of a letter carrier. She looks really cool in it and is excited to spend time in Needham with some friends on Halloween while we take the little ones trick or treating.
Gary is in NYC playing with Sam James for 6 record execs tonight. I have my thoughts and prayers with him and the red guitar. He's an oldie but a goodie:)

A Little Blue Humor author unknown

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country,

and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't

aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,

Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will

be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of

New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We

get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You

get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You

get Ole' Miss. We get 85 % of America's venture capital and

entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to

make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 % lower than the Christian

Coalition's , we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single

moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and

we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need

people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently

willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you

don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish

you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing

to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 % of the

country's fresh water, more than 90 % of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 % of

the nation's fresh fruit, 95 % of America's quality wines, 90 % of all

cheese, 90 % of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all

living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus

Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will

have OA to cope with 88 % of all obese Americans (and their projected health care

costs), 92 % of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 % of the tornadoes, 90 % of the

hurricanes, 99 % of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 % of all

televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University

of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 % of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually

swallowed by a whale, 62 % believe life is sacred unless we're discussing

the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 % say that evolution is only a

theory, 53 % that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 % of you crazy bastards

believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed

they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

Oprah on Tuesday

It is Tues afternoon and my children have been outside playing all afternoon in the drizzly rain. I cleaned the house, prepared for dinner, got Sadie's swim bag ready for swim team and did some paper work for work and then I was left there wondering what to do with myself. So I turned on Oprah. Initially I forgot which channel she is on and then I wondered whether possibly she was still on the air, in fact I wondered whether she was still alive at all! What am I going to do with myself when these kids do get older and more independent, who am I anyhow? Oprah, the couch, a bowl of raspberries, do other people actually do this as a regular kind of thing?
I have to admit, I cannot just blame my children, it is inherent in me that I be busy. I have been busy since birth. I have been redecorating my bedroom since I could walk and learning new things as much as possible. I had a list of things to do in Kindergarten and I have about 800 different renditions of "What I Want to be When I Grow Up."
Molly came home from her college courses and told me that her psych professor reminded her of me and it got her thinking that I should teach a class and I actually entertained the idea, in fact I even made some phone calls to steer myself in that direction.
I guess once you have three jobs, what's a fourth?