This thanksgiving was like most others. For the last five years Gary and I have hosted our families here at our house and so we are able to hang out in our pjs all morning cooking and cleaning and watching the Macys parade on tv. There is an air of specialness in the air, a frozen in time feeling. This year I vowed to video the kids more because I have been thinking a lot lately that time is slipping by and my babies are quickly turning in to not babies anymore so I videoed a lot today. When family got here we feasted and that was wonderful and at the end of the feast my children hung around with family and then things were quiet and when I went to look for them I found Nora upstairs sprawled out on her bedroom floor flipping through the pages of Curious George and Sadie tucked away in her room listening to Harry Potter 4 and doing a puzzle and Jonah quietly sitting in the playroom with his trucks. I love that my children can entertain themselves without tv and without video games and that they know when they need alone time and are not afraid to go take it at their own liberty. I have always been a person that required a lot of alone time and am always feeling guilty for asking for my required allotment, they know just what they need.
My favorite part of today was at the end of the day when the fire was really going and it was dark and it was just the 6 of us left, in our pjs again in the living room and we all started singing together. We sang many Christmas songs and folk songs which got Gary thinking about Alice's Restaurant and so we sang that song for a little bit but we all wanted the real thing so we came up here where I am now, at the computer and listened to two different versions of Alice's Restaurant, one live and one recorded and then we got to talking about the draft and war and littering and four part harmony and folk music and Vietnam. Then we listened to The City of New Orleans which we found out actually wasnt written by Arlo Guthrie and also comes with a great story that you can find at youtube if you are interested and Gary and I talked about growing up in the 70s which somehow got us back to the kids favorite thing to listen to on the computer which is the soundtrack to Grease.
Unschooling............
by the time I am through with Jonah I will get it but on the way I am stumbling through math worries and future concerns and the frameworks of education.
My favorite unschooled moments this week:
1. When Nora asked Gary and I on the way home from Maine whether trucks and trees have middle names.
2. When Jonah sang the alphabet song in entirety at the Thanksgiving table just because he felt like it.
3. When Sadie told me an hour long story about Charlie, an elderly man she visits regularly with Grampa John during their Wed meals on wheels trips.
4. When Nora told Gary to stop talking to her because he was disturbing the story in her head.
5. When Nora asked (in all seriousness) for the ability to fly as number one on her Christmas list.
6. Every wonderful chapter of Harry Potter 7 that Sadie and I read together.
7. Singing together
There are so many things I am grateful for today. Right now I am grateful for the piece of pie I am going to eat right now while watching the Incredibles on tv with the kids.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
22 years
I have not seen my middle school friends in these pictures in 22 years. I recently came in to contact with Judy who is taking most of these pictures via Facebook. She surprised me on Sat and brought out my best friend from middle school, Beth and her sister Shari. Words cannot describe how wonderful it was to see them all. I'm tearing up just thinking about it now. I figured out the other day that as a child I moved 13 times! So for me having long term friends was not a big possibility but my friendships during those years in Maine are still sweet and wonderful in my heart.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Sadie on her way
This morning at 8:50 am I watched as my eight year old boarded her first plane. It has been a long time in the making, this trip to Colorado and New Mexico, one in which I would never have dreamed even a few months ago. My Aunts visited about 8 weeks ago and were talking about the big family get together coming up in November in which my grandfather will be honored for his medical service in Farmington NM where my mom grew up. Sadie heard about it and wanted to go. Sadie talked about nothing but New Mexico for weeks until finally we bought her a ticket to go with my mom and Grampa Johnny. The last four weeks has been such an interesting process to watch and be part of. During some of the last month Sadie behaved just horribly and sulked around the house and/or lashed out at pretty much any member of her family. She actually came to such blows with my mother last week that she stormed out of the house and ran around it 5 times before returning. We talked and talked about what she was going through, she wanted to go, she was scared to fly, she has never been away from Gary and I for more than one night for a sleepover at a friend's house. She spent one solid week in her room where she listened to Harry Potter 3 and 4 and then finally begged me to go out and get 5.............. one week! She locked her door, played with her turtle, drew many pictures which all featured air travel of some sort and put puzzles together, quiet as Myrtle in there thinking muddling it over, working it out.
She crept in to our bed for the last two weeks pretty much nightly, climbing in and placing herself so close to me I thought for sure she was returning to her origins. She asked continuously about airplanes, we looked up different videos of airplanes taking off on YouTube so she could have some sort of perspective in to what it may look like for her.
Last night at Folk Chorale rehearsal she looked to me like someone who had gone through a very deep, very searching journey and emerged out of it more strong and vibrant than ever. She sang loudly and beautifully, more beautifully than she has all session. She played happily and talked about her trip openly and truthfully. She talked the whole way home and the morning and was so grateful and pleased with the purchases that I had made for her at Barnes and Nobles: a new Whimpy kid series book (her favorite) a collection of Calvin and Hobbes and a new set of crayons and a travel journal. She cuddled up with Gary and I right after she brushed her teeth and we all slept together.
This morning she was nervous, but not as nervous as me and not as devastated as my dear husband who spent the entire morning hiding in a tissue box, emerging only to take calls from Sadie. I drove her and her grandparents in to the airport and we hung around until it was time to go through security. I have to admit I was nervous she would not get on. I was kind of planning on having her with me on the way home but she gave me a good solid huge and ran off, not looking back once, and I know because I stood there and waited for a good 10 minutes while she took off her shoes and sent her bag through the check. I waited while the elevator came up and dinged once and then twice and I waved people away. I was waiting to watch her and take her in, so wise in so many ways, so happy.
I feel blessed on so many levels. I feel blessed Sadie does not have to worry about making school work up and can just take off like this in the middle of a school session without assignments and worksheets. She doesn't have a math book with her, she isn't expected to write in her travel journal for my scrutiny and she knows this. She is going to learn so much this week and she is going to experience life and family. She helped Grampa Johnny with his oxygen tank and talked to him about feeling better about having to wear this in public. It was hard for John and Sadie knew this and helped. Sadie is 8 and she has that level of compassion and regard for her grandfather. I feel so blessed that through Sadie's struggles this last month Gary and I knew our daughter well enough to watch in wonder at this whole process, not to judge, not to play interference, not to pathologize, just to watch, love and hold her space sacred. It we had not listened to our instincts and not been as tight as we all are, this month could have taken a much different course and here we are, Sadie has landed in Colorado and is just thrilled to pieces. She talked to Gary and I a bunch of times already and my joy is immeasurable at the person she is becoming.
She crept in to our bed for the last two weeks pretty much nightly, climbing in and placing herself so close to me I thought for sure she was returning to her origins. She asked continuously about airplanes, we looked up different videos of airplanes taking off on YouTube so she could have some sort of perspective in to what it may look like for her.
Last night at Folk Chorale rehearsal she looked to me like someone who had gone through a very deep, very searching journey and emerged out of it more strong and vibrant than ever. She sang loudly and beautifully, more beautifully than she has all session. She played happily and talked about her trip openly and truthfully. She talked the whole way home and the morning and was so grateful and pleased with the purchases that I had made for her at Barnes and Nobles: a new Whimpy kid series book (her favorite) a collection of Calvin and Hobbes and a new set of crayons and a travel journal. She cuddled up with Gary and I right after she brushed her teeth and we all slept together.
This morning she was nervous, but not as nervous as me and not as devastated as my dear husband who spent the entire morning hiding in a tissue box, emerging only to take calls from Sadie. I drove her and her grandparents in to the airport and we hung around until it was time to go through security. I have to admit I was nervous she would not get on. I was kind of planning on having her with me on the way home but she gave me a good solid huge and ran off, not looking back once, and I know because I stood there and waited for a good 10 minutes while she took off her shoes and sent her bag through the check. I waited while the elevator came up and dinged once and then twice and I waved people away. I was waiting to watch her and take her in, so wise in so many ways, so happy.
I feel blessed on so many levels. I feel blessed Sadie does not have to worry about making school work up and can just take off like this in the middle of a school session without assignments and worksheets. She doesn't have a math book with her, she isn't expected to write in her travel journal for my scrutiny and she knows this. She is going to learn so much this week and she is going to experience life and family. She helped Grampa Johnny with his oxygen tank and talked to him about feeling better about having to wear this in public. It was hard for John and Sadie knew this and helped. Sadie is 8 and she has that level of compassion and regard for her grandfather. I feel so blessed that through Sadie's struggles this last month Gary and I knew our daughter well enough to watch in wonder at this whole process, not to judge, not to play interference, not to pathologize, just to watch, love and hold her space sacred. It we had not listened to our instincts and not been as tight as we all are, this month could have taken a much different course and here we are, Sadie has landed in Colorado and is just thrilled to pieces. She talked to Gary and I a bunch of times already and my joy is immeasurable at the person she is becoming.
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