BE HERE NOW: Driving in Circles

Today we took Molly to take her learners permit test at the Registry of Motor Vehicles. It was her second time. The first time we brought her a few weeks ago she went in very confident and came out very sad, proceeding to argue with one of the workers there that some button wasn't working or something. That day she learned that some things are not as easy as others. Take her GED, for example. I think she thought that that was going to be easy, studied a little bit for it and then passed it with flying colors. Not all things in life are easy and I think she learned that day that just because a lot of other people tell you that something will be easy, doesn't mean you won't find it hard.
So we drove her down today quizzing her all the way. Sadie and Nora had some good questions such as, "When will you be old enough to drive me places?" and we listened to music. The girls and I went to a diner and got snacks and coffee and waited and then she called, happy and full of energy, she passed and could she please drive the car home.
I told her that she could not drive us home but after we drove Sadie to basketball practice we could drop Nora home with Grammy and go do a little driving. She was excited.
When I got home with Nora I dropped in on my mom and Grampa John and asked John if he would come with me. He said no. I asked him again, I pleaded a little and then my mom chimed in that he had been home all day and it would do him good to get out of the house and he said ok.

I thought, "This is good of us, taking ole Johnny out. Poor guy does not get out enough and we will get him out." John is sick with pulmonary fibrosis, out on disability from work, on partial oxygen and 55 years old. We'll take him out.
So off we went to the school where Molly was waiting for us. I told John to hand over the keys to Molly and he looked at me like I had five heads but rescinded. He said, " I don't think this is a good idea, we should start out slow." And I don't know what I thought or if I really even thought at all. I just figured if we gave her the keys she would know. It's easy, I've been doing it for years. I don't even remember learning.
But two seconds in the parking lot with Molly made it clear to at least John that we would need to stick to the parking lot so we found an empty part of the parking lot and we drove circles around it so she could practice gassing, braking, turning, signaling and getting the feel of it. John got to talking about the West Parish School while coaching Molly, about his days there, about different teachers he had had and about the playground. John had been a child here 45-50 years ago. We listened to him talk about his first grade room and some character from his past digging paths to cut to school. We listened and it occurred to me how important this moment was. It came to me like a wave and I laid back and floated. I heard all the words in his mouth come out and he was sharing them with us and this was Molly's first time driving and we were here and maybe he wouldn't be here in a years time or two years time and we would have this to carry with us. John and the car and the stories of West Gloucester and the steering and the lessons. Things go slow. People learn slow sometimes and other times fast. Molly needed to make circles in the parking lot for an hour before she hit traffic. Sadie needs to take rests in math because she can't absorb everything at once. Nora needs to read the word BAT for a solid year before she registers the connection between BAT and the black flying animal in our back yard in the summer time. I need to run slow before I can run fast and these are the important things, this is important. Be here now.
We let Molly drive through the cemetery next to the school and it was twilight and the trees looked like shadows in the sky. We read all the names as we passed and John told us stories about different families and different histories of his city, Gloucester. We drove by his mother's grave and I asked him if he remembered her funeral and her burial and he told me that he never went. He was twelve years old and he didn't go because his dad didn't let him. He said, "what are you going to do about it now, can't go on crying about it, what's done is done." when I told him I thought that was sad. He told Molly that right next to his mom was his 7 year old nephew lying there in a grave after being killed by a car 29 years ago. Tommy would have been my age and John rarely ever talks about him. One time he told me about the softness of his yellow blond hair when he was going to identify his body with his brother 29 years ago. I told him that I wondered what his mom thought about him as she looked down on him and he laughed and Molly and I both said she would be happy.
We got back to watch the end of Sadie's scrimmage and Molly asked John if he would take her out again and he said of course and then I realized that this is going to be a thing for them like the way that Sadie still loves to tell everyone how Molly taught her to ride a bike. My grampa John taught me how to drive a car, that will be Molly's thing.