99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Monday we traveled down to Arlington to practice for our Family Folk Chorale Concert coming up at Faneuil Hall on July 3rd. I am pretty close with the other families who sing with the FFC and most of these families homeschool and so as usual when together with other homeschooling families in June there is much discussion about end of the year reports and plans for Sept. I have been talking with two of my favorite moms about getting together more often next year because our children like spending time together so much and because it would feel nice to be together and feel supportive to me. I need this type of thing.
So as is my way, in mid discussion I start feeling really overwhelmed. Am I not teaching my children enough, are they learning enough, will Nora ever read, will Sadie learn math skills that can get her ahead in life, will Jonah stop beating us up with sticks, am I doing the right thing, do I have enough money to homeschool, and on and on.
Am I ok?
Am I doing the best for my children?
I get lost in the content of the questions, of the concerns and so I have to bring it back to the moment, to the center and the core of what it is that we are doing here in this house. I need to reconnect with our initial vision.
My children happy.
Children learn everyday on their own naturally.
My children believing in themselves.
My children getting dirty and feeling freedom.
My marriage solid, foundation firm.
Loving respectful unions.
Trusting relationships.

We rehearsed and singing is so grounding for me, so back to the basics important for me now. On the ride home, we drove Sophie home. Sophie is a close friend of all of my children's. She lives down the road from us and spends a lot of time with us. In a nutshell we love her.
Sophie is going to school next year and we are all grappling with the changes that will follow this decision. When I have her now I wonder what Sadie thinks and if Sadie wonders about what school will be like for Sophie. I know I do.
We got moving on to our 45 minute drive and just like that one of the girls started singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" and within seconds we were all singing it. Gary harmonized and the kids took turns singing in big and fanciful funny voices and laughing as Gary lost count over and over again.
When we hit 55 we had to stop, Sophie was hoarse and we were getting tired.
Life is so much more than one part of a whole. My children are getting to live a full life rather than being put in to a catagory or a segment of community. Reaching out in the world farther and farther and then coming home to touch base unconditionally, fervently continously, joyfully.