Grampa John

I wanted to tell you all about a part of John that most of you may not have been able to see and a part of John that was most likely a huge surprise to John himself. I want to tell you about Grampa John.







Grampa John was a single man until he was 47 when he married my mother and became such a huge part of our family. Grampa John had no children of his own but was well versed in childhood, having an innocent heart and a boyish way about him. He was a delight to the children in his life. Grampa John had many nieces and nephews who were a big part of his life and his journey. He loved you all and was changed because of his time with you.






When John was first trying to persuade my mother to go out on a date with him he put his 14 year old niece Patti Ann on the phone to vouje for him. He attended many baseball games and musical events as Uncle Johnny, Johnny Johnny TaTa and Johnny Weed. Uncle John knew how much all of those nieces and nephews loved him.






Grampa John inherited an adult child, me and a special needs child, my sister Colleen. Such a giving and righteous man, he took Colleen and loved her without condition, caring for her through seizures and through sickness, all the while maintaining his sense of compassion and humor. Colleen adored John and she is forever changed because of her time with him.






Grampa John inherited Molly, his first of the four grandchildren. Molly was 5 or 6 when John came on the scene and he took right to her, joking with her and taking her fishing and camping. Grampa John taught my daughter Molly about politics. They fought feverishly over current events and pop culture. Grampa John taught Molly how to drive in the parking lot of the West Parish School, with his calm and patience he sat in the passenger side all the while talking about his mother who was buried in the cemetery in the back of West Parish. John taught Molly about Gloucester and the wharf, about what is important and what is real. Molly is forever changed because of her time with him.






Grampa John welcomed all three of my younger children in to the world. Coxing me up Centennial Ave in labor with Sadie, all the while telling me the stupidest jokes he learned at the post office. He was the godfather to Sadie and I realize now that he was in this role because he was the most spiritual man I know. John cared not for organized religion and looked down upon corruption but John knew God in his everyday acts of kindness and serenity. I knew that John would lead Sadie to God and he did and he continues to through his illness and at his death and today. We know you are here with us Grampa John and we are forever changed because of you.






In his illness John taught us so much. He taught us that Delanys pizza really is better than Sebastians, that a smile is easier to form than a frown, that a kind word can be the best thing but sometimes the kindest thing to do is to not say anything at all. John taught us that there is always time for family and that sometimes family can be created in the strangest ways. Even in his most sick moments John never lost his sense of gratitude in the world, thanking God for the doctors in his life, the oxygen that sustained him and for a good episode of Monk or CSI.






John never complained. This was the hardest to understand. How could he never complain? If it were me I would have whined and moaned and felt incredibly sorry for myself and if he had we would have understood but he didn’t. Grampa John described himself in the last year of his life as the luckiest man he knew, because of his family and his sobriety and his home on the hill in West Gloucester.






All these things we didn’t talk about enough, we were too busy playing “gotcha last” and watching the Simpsons with you. We were too busy feeding you and cheering you on, singing to you and coloring pictures for you. We were so busy loving you that we often forgot to tell you how much and now you are gone and so quickly we are stunned by the silence in our home. Sadie told me that her heart felt as if half of it were missing and Nora looked for you after she came home from school but you were gone.






I see you in everything. I see you in the garden and in the pine trees, I see you in your brother Charlie’s smile and in the crevice of the couch where you spent so many afternoons with the cat. I see you in the opening of a door and I see you when I turn out the lights. Molly, Sadie, Nora, Jonah, Gary, Colleen and I are forever changed because of you.