I'm spending the weekend with my two birthday children. Sadie had a wonderful 4th of July birthday with everything from her favorite breakfast to a bon fire and ice cream with just Gary and I to end it all. The 5th was Jonah's birthday. He turned 3. My baby is now out of diapers and drinking from the big boy cups and wanting a real bed instead of his crib. Yesterday we went to Lake Sunopy and Gary and his band played a private party for some old friends of ours and Jonah got to sit in with Daddy and play the guitar and sing with him, that was sweet and surreal. Today I am cleaning my house and getting ready to have my inlaws up for some more birthday celebrating and I am thinking about how life moves on. I filled a big bag with baby toys that no one in my house is playing with anymore to give to the shelter only to be replaced by more toys that my children will receive today. I am coming off of a week of wonder. I wondered about homeschooling a lot this month, I thought about our future and who we are as a family and as individuals. I'm realizing how heavily influenced by people I am for the good and the bad. I am realizing how important it is to decide things that are the best things for my family and my family alone. This is hard to do because at the same time I am realizing how social I am and how much I need community around me. When we went to the parades throughout our town this week I felt somehow separate and alone with the town activities and that felt like a loss. Home schoolers as a group tend to be more independent, more on their own. This is hard for me. I like to be around people, a lot. This doesn't mean that I have decided to school or that I have decided anything. These are just more days in my life, more opportunities to learn about myself and my world. Jonah is naked, running around the house with his lawnmower singing Family Folk Chorale songs. He knows all the words by heart.