Storms

Today is the day when I woke up to go to the gym like normal at 6 am and got dressed and ready and looked out the window and was trapped again by the formidable foreboding hill and a whole bunch of snow. Today is a day when I can't fit in to anything right and the way that the house looks is large and evasive and endlessly dirty. Today is a day when my children seem to be walking around in a daze bored with the snow day stuff, how many times can one child make cookies and roast marshmallows by the fire?
Luckily Sadie has the piano and Nora has her dolls and Molly has her laptop and well Jonah has a stick. Gary is happy to make 25 rounds of cookies. It is mostly me in the way here today.
Today I had a disagreement with a sort of friend and I can't let it go and I am muddling over what I should of said and what I could still say.
I am sad because my favorite boss is leaving our site and going to pursue other goals, good for him, bad for me.
The snow is inching its way around me, encircling me, drowning me in cold and slippery slopes ahead.
It's only one day out of many days to come. The feeling will change and warmer weather will come. Riding out these feelings is like riding out a storm. I wonder where Nora and Jonah came from with their intermittent explosions and then I remember, they are me. I gave them the blessings of strong love, crazy laughter and mad unpredictable disposition. I gave them the abilities to make someone stand up tall or shrink down to earth with a few sentences uttered from my ever flapping mouth.
As I get older these things get easier. The waves are calming and life is out there more and less in here.
I get to watch them and maybe their storms will be less intense. Maybe not.
Tomorrow I will get up and go to the gym at 6. There is no storm predicted.