Molly's birthday

Today was Molly's birthday. She turned 17 today. A few days ago I took Jonah to a park that Molly and I used to frequent when she was between the ages of 2 and 4 and there I was with my youngest child running wildly through the slides and swings thinking, "Is this Molly..... or is this Jonah?"
Time is such a funny thing. Just when I think I am ready for it to fly by I am taken aback, punched in the stomach and losing my breath thinking about her and how quickly it all went by.
She wanted us to take her out to eat and so we did. She wanted us to take her out along and I understand what she is trying to say to us and so we did. Having all these little siblings cant always be easy and so we were together, the three of us, just like it had been for many years prior to baby #2 as we called Sadie.
Of course things being the way they are around our house currently we couldn't just take Molly in to the city and have our way. First we had to stop for our first appointment at Dana Farber. We all joked and played on the way up and looked around at bald heads and weak bodies and thought about how silly it was that we were there because after all Gary has a curable kind of cancer and there will not be any bald heads in our house any time soon. In the lobby I sat feeling sad for all of these other people that have to go through Cancer while we are all done with that now, thank you, just a precaution.
The nurses and the clinicians and just about everyone was so kind to us at DF that it almost brought tears to my eyes. They were not worried about time, they were not doubtful of us and our intentions and wisdom as carriers of our own bodies. It felt loving and wonderful and spiritual.
The doctor was a tall handsome man with a kind face and a broad and welcoming smile who sat with us for two hours and would have stayed with us all afternoon if we kept asking questions.
He told us that Gary has a 25% chance of chemotherapy and a 75 % of monitoring heavily and waiting and seeing. We will find this out next week after the CAT Scan comes back and I know that whatever happens I trust this doctor and I know that he cares about me and my husband. I haven't felt that about a doctor for a really long time.
We went out to a nice little Irish restaurant and took funny pictures of each other and laughed and ate. It's fun to be with Molly because she is like an adult now and we have fun conversations and I am almost ready to launch her.
Maybe she will want to go back to that park with me.
Maybe I will blink my eyes and find myself there in years to come with her little child wishing for a return to something as sweet as the first flowers in spring and the longest day of the year.