A clean house

As a homeschooling unschooling mom I have been struggling for years now on letting go of the mess......... the mess that accrues through unfinished projects, the mess that accrues through well loved toys, the mess that accrues through lack of time and lack of energy and builds and builds in to this dusty heap depressing even the most motivated housecleaner.
I have several homeschooling friends and regular mom friends who would never dream of having anyone else come in to their home to clean it. I have felt this way for years, like if I can't manage my own home, what has my life become.
This winter was a long one. It was a winter where my home became my enemy. I no longer wanted to be in it because everywhere I looked I saw dust and stuff and yucky carpets and windows that were smudged and dark. I would find myself either leaving the house for an escape or losing my patience on those small people who call this place home and call me mother.
Gary and my best friend Ashley finally talked me in to hiring a housecleaner.
Thank God for them!!! The love me so much!
Today I came home to the cleanest house in town. It smelled clean and looked so fresh and organized. It made our day so much happier and my face so much sunnier. It gave me more time to be present with those that I love.
I know the ideal thing is to be able to let go of the mess, the go with the flow.
I think the ideal thing for me is to know myself really well and to go with that, be present with and appreciative of that unique person. I can't do it all and that's ok.