My musical husband recently was flown out to NYC to perform in front of some big shot in the "industry." This was all very exciting for our house, Daddy had to get up at 4 in the morning and take the early flight and get driven around all day and play fancy guitars and all that cool stuff. But then he came home and well you know, settled back in to life here with us. He played his local gigs and goofed off with the Folk Chorale and Jonah downstairs in the basement and we all went about life.
That was last month and today he got another call. They are going to have him to NYC again and play a show at the Knitting Factory and so off he will go again.
Being married to a musician means a lot of different things to me. It means never being bored and always having a house full of music. It means having songs written about me and taking pictures of our lives together through lyrics that he has written. It means waking up at 3 am to this man playing "Sunshine of My Life" next to our bed. It means being able to request pretty much any song out there at any time and having it played right there in our kitchen for me, for us.
It also means late nights and waking up at 4am wondering if he is dead on the road. It means sharing him with the rest of the world and being really ok with myself and who I am at all times. It means really busy schedules, many weekend nights alone and not a lot of money. It means having to deal with the inevitable frustration and despair that comes hand in hand with loving someone who has been given such an amazing gift.
It also means deferring. This means that in my mind no matter what happens I have made this commitment to him and if he gets a call that there is a possible break for him I will succumb and our lives will revolve around this dream. It is difficult at times but in doing this I am always reminded in a visceral kind of way what my love for him is all about. If I asked him to stop he would but I won't and I can't because I really want him to always play the guitar because he really loves to do this and if I took that away from him it would be like taking a paint brush away from Picasso or taking Jonah's guitar away from him.